#1: "Are you pregnant?"

It’s really quite possibly the worst question that can ever exit your mouth. If you were to stop and think before releasing this question from the locked cage your mother put it in as a child, you would realize that there is never a time when it’s ok.
I was at Target one time (early in my pregnancy) looking for shoes that wouldn’t bother my soon to be swollen feet. I was probably about 4 or 5 months along but still able to bend and move as easily as I had before being pregnant. One of the ladies stocking the shoes asked if I was pregnant and when I was due. I didn’t know her and so I didn’t take so much offense to it but… to me, I had felt pregnant for nearly 5 months now. I could look down and see the changes in my body and was shocked that she even had to ask. I wasn’t immediately offended but later sat thinking about what I must look like, if I don’t look pregnant…?

Let’s take scenario one for instance: You pose this question to a woman who is NOT pregnant.
What was it about her that prompted this question? What she possibly rubbing her tummy and talking to it softly? Highly doubtful. Was she hinting at needing to stock up on diapers before her “bundle of joy” arrives? Unless she’s adopting… this one’s probably a “no” too. If you ask her this question because she “looks” pregnant, just do us all a favor and never speak again.

Scenario two: You pose this question to a woman who IS pregnant.
When you ask her this question you are saying to her “you look fatter… you really do but I hate to think that you’ve simply gained weight since the last time I saw you so I’m going to go for the nicer suggestion which is that you’ve got another person tucked up in there somewhere.” You’re telling her that she doesn’t quite glow as much as she jiggles. Granted, asking a pregnant woman if she is pregnant is never really quite as rude as asking a woman who is not pregnant. But… it’s not nice either.

I think it’s always important to KNOW FOR SURE about someone’s delicate situation before bringing it up. Do you really need to know so badly that you are willing to risk offending this woman to satisfy your curiosity? I submit, no. The rumor mill is still churning and I guarantee you will hear the truth about the extra fluff around her mid-section in time. Until that day comes, just keep this question locked up.


Have you ever asked someone this question? How did it go? What did they say?